Raising your child with love is better than Spanking

In October 2013 the then social development minister, Bathabile Dlamini, hit a nerve when she said her department will look at drafting a bill making it illegal to spank your child, in the comfort of your own home – this could lead to parents soon being charged for assault if they smack their child’s bottom with a flat hand or use any form of corporal punishment at home.

Dlamini said if a husband beats his wife, it is a crime, but if a parent hits a helpless child, it is not illegal.

I’m sure the honourable minister did not wake up that Sunday morning with a sermon on the radio, TV or her head telling her let the children come to me, but that she realised the outcry by so many abuse children.

Taking into consideration that it is government’s task to protect the children of our country with laws, and then yes I could easily support the possible proposed Anti-Spanking Law. But taking into consideration that corporal punishment is prohibited in our schools since 2006 and the current discipline amongst school learners since then, I doubt if I could support minister Dlamini.

The draft law is being considered so parents don’t end up killing their children and believe it or not but there are parts in our country where certain parents believe they have to discipline their child until there is blood. You and I would both agree that is abuse, but clearly not in the eyes of that parent. I find it highly unlikely that in such case a three year old would go to the police to report their parent and lay assault charges. Chances are that incident will instead repeat itself.

Dlamini was correct when she said parents have a responsibility to raise their children with proper values. The how they do this would differ.

I got a good hiding, even if I as much as talk back to my parents. I remember being a toddler and by accident hitting my sister (two years younger than I were) with a broomstick. Boy oh boy the spank I got was no accident. Homework had to be done and you had to help your neighbour or the slipper will meet your bum.

We need to face reality and be honest. Spanking a child can leave that child with a life long scar. This is something we cannot determine now but will only reveal itself years later, too late to regret that you did not stop when you heard the cries: "No mommy/daddy, no..."

I'm sure all parents at some stage make the promise to raise their child in and with love, not spanking and with abuse.
I am against South Africa becoming a nanny-state, especially with a government telling me how to raise my child but I am more so against the abuse of a minor. 

Yes spanking 20-years ago was good, but disciplining a child became abusing a child. I firmly believe you can discipline a child without touching the child, by simply loving that child.

A child will most likely listen when a parent, still in a firm strict voice, speaks with love and not threaten to spank and cast fear.

The Afrikaans-saying “Buig die boompie terwyl dit nog jonk is” does not refer to spanking your child, but raising your child in values with love.