I am who I am, ME

Actors are activist who has a bigger role than acting.

Roberto Kyle says his career gives him a voice and a responsibility.

“People go to movies and see us on TV to relate and see their stories and themselves through us. We need to tell those stories.”

The actor from Paarl is openly gay and plays the role of a gay-character in kykNET&Kie’s telenovela, Arendsvlei.

According to Roberto it took him 25 years to love who he is.

“I fought. I still fight for my identity, for who I am and the space around me.

“I don’t have 25 years for others to accept and love who I am.”

Roberto was also in movies like Eye in the Sky and The Dark Tower, as well as the drama series Homeland.

Shortly before Arendsvlei Roberto was seen as Skalkie Fortuin in Knapsekêrels and before that as Aunty Merle’s son Carl Abrahams in the Marc Lottering musical.

Roberto gets serious when he says his sexuality does not determine which type of actor he is, or that he can or should only portray a gay-character.

“It is not why I went to drama school. If I have to play a tree, then I play a tree.”

SUPPORT

Roberto confess he always knew he was different, and how other people made him feel about himself.

“I was always the target of the one or other form of bullying. Especially by boys and simply because I was not like them. When I became a teenager, I started to understand the dynamics of masculinity and being a man. At 13-years it all started making sense… that I am gay.”

Even though he is a friendly, full of life person, there was some challenging times.

In his matric year he opened towards school friends about his sexuality.

“I was scared of who I am. When I told my school friends they started crying, because they have been waiting the whole time on me just to be happy for me. I then told my sister, and that same evening my mom. Both was, and they still are very supportive.”

Roberto now partially regrets the whole “coming out”.

“I believe no one should endure the trauma young boys and girls go through with the whole ‘coming out’ process. My sister never had to hide her love (for someone else) or explain her existence. Why should I?”

There is another thing that Roberto regrets. His dad passed away in 2013, to cancer and they never had the opportunity to talk about Roberto’s sexuality.

“I’m sure he knew. Before I “came out of the closet” my parents were busy getting a divorce and my dad moved out. I just didn’t want to still disturb him with this news. I know that he loved me, and he supported me.

“Still there is a part of me that feel I lack something that would make me a good son for him,” an emotional Roberto adds.

There is no shortage of love and support for Roberto from his mom – who raised him and his sister with faith, determination, acceptance and humility.

He is aware though many others are not that lucky.

“It breaks your heart if your loved-ones don’t accept and support you for who you are. Know that your identity and potential is not linked to any person, who rejects your presence. Just be who you are.

“My dad’s passing taught me we should love each other unconditionally, while we still with each other.”

AWARENESS

On the work front it seems Roberto and his character have a lot in common.

His character Lee-Roy is like Roberto also Ronel (played by Melanie du Bois) his mom’s everything. There is another thing. We got to know Lee-Roy when he was bullied on school. Roberto was bullied on primary and high school.

An honest Roberto says he was not only bullied by learners on school, but even teachers.

“Bullying takes on any form. It is not only to lift your hand. It is also people’s actions, words or even a simple look you give someone. On school I was bullied by teachers, about my sexuality and because I was different.

“I can recall two incidents where I was bullied. One being on high school when a teacher shouted, ‘stop being so gay’. I got up and walked out of the class. “Some classmates and myself went to the principal’s office, where I asked that the teacher be addressed for discriminating against me.”

Roberto’s mom was called in and it later came out, according to Roberto, that the teacher’s daughter is lesbian, and it appears as if the teacher took out her personal feelings and homophobia on Roberto.

“We need to point out homophobia, especially adults. We give permission if we pretend there is no injustice against other, or ourselves.”

Roberto reckons bullying on school is being address, but we all have a responsibility.

He is of the opinion victims should be given a bigger voice and more awareness.

Like he’s doing with his Arendsvlei-character.

Roberto says he almost immediately got the rol when he went for the Arendsvlei audition.

“I was wondering if it would be a challenge to play a schoolkid and what message I might be telling with that. When I read about the character and the big topic he’s taking on, I knew I wanted to play the role.”

Roberto says it was an adjustment to go from Skalkie, who walks with a firearm in Knapsekêrels, to Lee-Roy with schoolbooks.

“There are still people who recognize me as Skalkie, but I think many are getting used to Lee-Roy. I just don’t want Lee-Roy to become each to play.”

BE YOURSELF

What makes Lee-Roy so much fun is that he is quirky, friendly and likeable and he bring humor to every situation. From social media Roberto also successfully touch on the homosexuality topic and from the messages many of his supporters see him as a role-model.

“It is difficult to play a gay character on South African TV. I open myself to the public and all the risks that comes with that.”

Hy feels he has a responsibility to tell the truth. It is part of my goal to tell the story of my people.

“Whether it is sexuality, coloured, manly, Paarl or South African narrative.

“Irrespective if I play a straight, gay or asexual character. Lee-Roy is not who I am in life, it is the story I am telling now.”

Roberto is one of the youngest actors to play a gay-character on our TV-screens.

He is also one of a few, possibly the youngest, to openly talk about his own sexuality.

“I enjoy the reaction and messages from supporters and try to respond to everyone.

“Jinne but then I read some of the commentary and I think Rihanna don’t pay attention to rude and negative commentary, why should us plebs.”

The young man views all criticism as constructive, it helps him to be a better actor and person.

“I ask myself if I will be creative and live out my character if I’m only going to focus on negative comments.

“What concerns me is that I should not hurt people with my character.”

Roberto is aware it comes with the industry for him to be scrutinize and the backlash that can come from the public.

“It is a sad fact that a subject like homosexuality is still half taboo in our society. There is room to change that and it starts with something as simple as a conversation.”

Roberto did his thesis on the classification of the queer identity in the entertainment industry.

He says it often happens that gays bully each other.

“Gay culture is judging feminine men. The culture draws this from the heteronormativity rules of a relationship between a man and a woman, and the role of each in a relationship.

“It derives from the rooted homophobia, because gays have a view of what the perfect man should be and how he should act. If you don’t meet the standards of what a gay man should be, you judged.

“Where people are marginalized things are always sensitive, but actors can be a voice to address the topics.”

Roberto feels strongly if people irrespective race, class or sexuality are only seen as a person, who also have a story with successes and challenges, there is respect.

“People are scared to talk about homosexuality, because they don’t understand it. Aggression comes because people don’t want to talk about it and when someone comes out of the closet, especially if it is in your home, it is a problem.

“Some say you can only be gay from a distance, but when it is in your house it is a different case.”

A serious Roberto adds “people don’t always respect that you as a person have a right to express yourself, and how you feel.”

Our interview took place as the scenes of the Arendsvlei-matric camp was shot. Everyone loves Lee-Roy, and not because he is gay or being bullied, but because he is so sincere.

Ever since the barn-scenes there has been chemistry between Lee-Roy and Wesley (played by Craig Adriaanse) and viewers have been waiting and begging for a kiss between the two.

Will there be a kiss, will the two date?

“LOL” is Roberto’s reaction to the question.

“For three days a week Arendsvlei tells the stories of our people, by our people. No one came from abroad. Every day stories are being highlighted and things that are still taboo for some are now in our homes.”

Roberto hopes that viewers learn from Lee-Roy to take ownership of their life, to fight for what they believe in.

“I hope especially the gay, lesbian, transgender boy or girl learn from this that their sexuality doesn’t determine who they are and that they so much more.

“Be true to yourself and know no ones has a right to say who and what you are. You have ownership of your identity and no one can take that.”

The young actors mention he takes it with a pinch of salt how people and especially other gays judge him.

“I am not going to lay awake at night and don’t have time to wonder how others feel about my existence. It is important that I am who I am, me!”

Roberto gives his killer smile and says: “There is nothing as powerful as someone who can walk in a room and just be themselves, without having to defend their identity!”

• An edited version of this was published in Afrikaans in Kuier of 6 March 2019